Where are the blessings this week, God?

I'm not a very transparent person. Unless I'm talking to an extremely close friend, whenever something's bothering me and someone calls me out on it, I assure them I'm fine. Really. Everything's fine.

If they persist, I insist I'm simply tired. Or mildly stressed. I don't offer up my hurts and grievances because I know they will pass and I will be better.

But part of what we want to do here is to be transparent. To let the honesty of our own journeys speak to you wherever you are on the path.

So . . . I'm going to put this out there. I'm setting aside the regularly scheduled "What Has God Done for You?" post in favor of this rather candid tell-all. When I thought about what blessings I would list that God has worked in my life this week, I couldn't think of one.

Instead, I thought about how this week has been incredibly stressful. How I've been hurt, accused, confused, and misunderstood.

I thought about my calling, my 4 week deadline, my nowhere-near-even-begun manuscript, and my lack of energy.

And I thought about how lost I've been lately.

Coming up with something to share with you guys that God's been doing in my life this week seemed impossible. I could write about fiery trials . . . but that's not very encouraging, or blessing-ish. I could write about how angry and disappointed I feel in others and myself, but well, that's not terribly uplifting either. Instead, I'm writing to say that somewhere in the midst of this week and this craziness, God has been there, pouring out Grace for me to endure.

So forgive the unorthodox post. Forgive the melancholy. I know there are indeed blessings here. And I suppose if I weren't so frequently mired in self-pity, I could actually see them.

--Mandy